UNSPOKEN CONVERSATIONS
For the past couple of years, I
have been working at trying to become a more skilled, confident and versatile
storyteller. When I was working as a corporate trainer and consultant, one of
the hallmarks of my style was telling real life stories about the people I had
met who were experiencing personal, professional and organizational change. Based
on the feedback I got, it would seem that most folks felt I was good at it.
When I retired, I joined a local
storytelling group in my city. At my first meeting, I unexpectedly found myself
telling an anecdotal story from my work life that listeners found entertaining.
But as a teller now in a non-business environment, I experienced it
differently. I couldn’t really put my finger on what was exactly different
about the experience. Over time I began to realize that not only was I a teller
at each of the meetings, but more importantly, I was now an active, engaged
listener to told stories. And my colleagues in the group are very good tellers
and performers. I realized that I was actively learning from each of them and
trying out some of the lessons in my own telling. Some of the techniques worked
nicely for me; others didn’t suit. For me now, our meetings are sometimes more
about the listening and less so about the telling.
I have now told many times in my
local venue. I have taken a creative storytelling course by the ocean near Cape
Cod. There, I watched two master storytellers at work, enthusiastically sharing
the skills of their craft but also being wonderful coaches to nine aspiring
storytellers. I am starting to branch out a bit, taking more risks in the types
of stories I tell and the audiences that come to listen. I am now doing more
self-reflection and critiquing of my stories and performances than I ever did
when I was in the corporate world. But, in spite of all of this gradual,
welcome growth, I still felt as if there was still a piece that I was missing to
the art of storytelling. Until today.
I was watching a video by the
American motivational speaker and storyteller, Les Brown. He mentioned ‘the
unspoken conversations’ that go on between the storyteller and each listener in
his or her audience. It was one of those ‘ah ha’, ‘the light suddenly goes on’
moments for me.
As a listener, I realized that I
was indeed having unspoken conversations with the teller during their story. I
was having unshared expectations about what the story was going to offer and do
for me. I was having unshared emotional reactions to the story and to the
teller. Sometimes I find myself having unspoken conversations with the story’s
characters. Other times, I was resisting the urge to interrupt the teller and
talk with her about the complex, layered experience her telling was creating
for me.
As a teller, I realized that I am
also having unspoken conversations with each of my listeners. There are as many
conversations going on in the room as there are listeners and tellers. Up until
today, I haven’t really thought much about having unspoken conversations with
my listeners. Whether I am telling a story well or not so well, the unspoken
conversations always happen and shape the experience for all of us.
Now I have to figure out how to
effectively use this ‘ah ha’ realization in my storytelling. This could be
difficult as it’s really a new skill territory for me and to do it well will
certainly push me out beyond my current comfort zone. But I am game to try.
Since I am a social worker by
training and by nature, interested in what makes people tick, today’s ‘ah ha’
has also encouraged me to think about the role of ‘unspoken conversations’ in
other aspects of my life. Intellectually, it makes lots of sense to put words
to those silent conversations and voice them to others. But, further thinking
on that will have to wait for another time and perhaps another blog post.
And what about your ‘unspoken conversations’?
Author is Don Herald, a member of Peterborough Storytellers (September 19, 2012)
